thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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