I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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