i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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