My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize