Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
