My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
