I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
