oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize