She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
