I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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