On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
