I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
not ubering you a puppy
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
