I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
