so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
