I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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