Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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