I need help removing her.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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