DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
