i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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