She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
