I murdered the dance floor call the cops
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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