I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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