Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize