KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
