And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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