I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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