He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
