I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
