there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
