Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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