and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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