I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
