I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
