I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
