Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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