Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
