White coat. Heels.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize