I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
