69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize