11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
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