i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize