oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
