For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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