doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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