she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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