new low.... made out with someone while peeing
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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