happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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