If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
