we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
