around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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