I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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