New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize