I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
that's an acceptable place to lick
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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