no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
