Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
