I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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