Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
