i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
