it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
